Q: How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it? A: With a thought.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How does a blond know if she’s on her way home or on her way to work? A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: “Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”
Q: Why won’t they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “Where did you get that?” A: The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”
Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? A: Her husband is out looking for the other man.
Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet? A: She was last years hide and seek winner.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head? A: A Space Invader.
Q: What is the blonde’s highest ambition in life? A: They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC? A: A dumb terminal.
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn’t they get in? A: The sign said “must be 18 to enter”.
Q: Why can’t the blonde make ice cubes? A: She lost the recipe.
Read more short clean blonde jokes on http://www.cleanblondejokes.net/.
In the lead up to Christmas some would argue that there are more important things to be worrying about than how you look. There’s cleaning the house, getting the decorations up, finding the decorations in the first place and of course, there’s making sure that all of the food has been bought and there is a plan of how it is all going to be prepared. They may be right in some respects, but if you do want to look that little bit more special this Christmas then these tips may be just what you need!
One of the keys to looking good is to have hair that looks good. Whether you have short hair, long hair, curly or straight hair – if it looks clean, shiny and healthy it does offer a boost to self esteem. A top tip to ensure that your hair is looking good over the festive period is to not over wash it. Try to wash your hair every other day, this will stop it drying out and becoming unmanageable but also keep it looking healthy and keep all essential nutrients locked in.
Eyebrows are the perfect place to start if you are thinking about giving your beauty regime its own makeover. There are many ways to ensure your brows are looking their best, of course there are the good old tweezers which still work as well as ever (in the right hands). If you are tired of tweezers, or just can’t get the look you are after then permanent eyebrows could provide the answer. Once applied by a professional they will keep their shape and colour, perfect for those who aren’t confident doing their own eyebrows.
There are also permanent treatments available for lips, these treatments are also referred to as lip tattooing and permanently colour the lips, adding volume and adding definition. This can be a very worthwhile beauty addition at Christmas, especially if you happen to have some spare mistletoe hanging around!
On the other hand, it can be nice to go for a more subdued look at family gatherings at Christmas time. If you are going to pursue this look, then stick to natural colours, a sweep of powder and blusher should be more than enough for most people and give an understated but defined look.
If you are going to be in for a busy Christmas this year then don’t forget about yourself. Even if it is just a spare afternoon to pamper yourself, or a couple of hours having a hair or make-up treatment, you will feel the benefits and feel better for it in the long run.
Permanent make-up is ideal for eyebrows, eyelashes and lips as well as scar camouflage and covering up any other blemishes.