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Cool Blonde Jokes

§ November 13th, 2011 § Filed under Humor § Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Comments Off

The really funny blonde jokes are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of funny blonde jokes.

Shortage of Parachutes A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them. The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!”

Blonde at Football Game A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: “Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand.” “What did you not understand ?” And the blonde says: “Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it’s just a quarter!”

Hot and Cold A blonde was shopping when she found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, she picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was. “It’s a thermos.” he said. “It keeps some things hot, and other things cold.” That was all she needed to hear, and she bought the thermos. The next day, her boss saw the thermos on her desk, as it really was rather striking. “What’s that?” her boss asked. “It’s a thermos.” she said. “It keeps some things hot, and other things cold.” “What have you got in it?” her boss queried after a moment. She happily answered, “I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon.”

Watch Dogs A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.” The man responds “Huh.. that’s interesting.. why did you name them such names?” The blonde sighs and shakes her head “Everyone keeps asking me the same thing… duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs?”

Oklahoma Blondes Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking … and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida …?”

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Clean Blonde Jokes

§ April 23rd, 2011 § Filed under Humor § Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Comments Off

Q: How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it? A: With a thought.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: How does a blond know if she’s on her way home or on her way to work? A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: “Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”

Q: Why won’t they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “Where did you get that?” A: The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? A: Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet? A: She was last years hide and seek winner.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head? A: A Space Invader.

Q: What is the blonde’s highest ambition in life? A: They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC? A: A dumb terminal.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn’t they get in? A: The sign said “must be 18 to enter”.

Q: Why can’t the blonde make ice cubes? A: She lost the recipe.

Read more short clean blonde jokes on http://www.cleanblondejokes.net/.

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