How Do I Work With Someone Who Has An Ego?
Your ego goes to work whenever someone challenges your abilities, especially your abilities to take care of your business, your quick and instinctive reaction is to show them they are wrong! When using this tactic, be cautious not to damage the ego. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: If you cause damage instead of creating a challenge, you are producing and air of indifference from your prospect.
Sports coaches use another challenge to the ego in a team environment. For instance during football practice one of the players is not giving it 100%, doesn’t make meeting on time, or makes the same mistake over and over, the coach has the perfect ego based solution. He call a team meeting explains to the teams what been going on with this particular player. He then has every one on the team except the guilty player run some laps. The punishment is a challenge to that football player’s ego. Situations like that only have to take place once to be persuasive for each member of the team.
We very often have challenging messages geared directly at our egos. As an example in a multilevel meeting, managers may say they only want to work with the “go-getters” and “people that can take action.” Teachers may phrase it to a student like this, “I’d like for you to do the advanced assignments.” I have even seen sales representatives attack their prospect with a subtle suggestion like, “I guess you don’t have the authority to make that decision.” You should see the egos come alive.
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Another way is to give people credit for things they don’t know. When you do this they will generally say nothing and allow you to believe them to be smarter and more aware than they really are. Then they will try to live up to the undeserved credit you have just bestowed upon them, just so they can lead you to believe they are really smart. Here are a couple more phrases that are direct challenges to our egos, “You probably already know….” or “You will soon realize…”
When it comes to persuasion we are faced with a very tricky task of building up the egos of our prospects and placing our egos on hold. To be effective at persuasion you have to let go you your ego and focus on the objective at hand. You don’t want to have to deal with a bruised ego. So check your ego at the door and remember your overriding purpose is on persuasion and not you.
Learn more about persuasion and handling egos. Stop by Kurt Mortensen’s Persuasion IQ site where you can find out where your persuasion strengths lie and what you can improve to get what you want out of life. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service